Excerpts from emails circulated on the saintsebastian Onelist email list

From: [DELETED]

we had a processional at the abbey where i went to school that sounded like the elephant walk LOL...appropriate for some ..[DELETED]
---------------------------------------------
From: [DELETED]

I have heard likewise that there are more gay men in the Vatican than all of San Francisco but the way they survive is that they are involved in the old political machine. In one diocese of a prince of the church that will remain nameless the "inquisitor" sniffed out and booted men who were involved with women and men. This same man was caught with his pants down with young girls and boys. I feel to protect there ass of the 75% there will be the likes of the great witch hunts where one accused the other. This does not look good. With the shortages that are this will decrease the numbers of clergy even more and may blow up in there face. Reg what do you know of this, and is there anything to be done. I heard that the rat was called in recently by JPII for putting out things that were not approved by him. Can anything be done to stop this man? He has enough enemies that can bring him down. It saddens me to think this way, but I can help it.

---------------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

Hi guys,

I've just caught up on yesterday's mail. Because of "improvements" here (when, oh when, will Dominicans learn that Holy Poverty does not mean living on the cheap????) my e-mail collapsed over the weekend.

Most probably good 'cause I have my final exam coming up on Friday (all support and prayers appreciated). Had a very South African weekend with one of the guys from the [DELETED]Oratory receiving Acolyte at a parish near [DELETED]on Saturday. Most of the [DELETED].'s got together (except for your [DELETED] Reg- so he's on the [DELETED] shit list at the moment) and had a wild time yabbering away in Afrikaans to each other.

Now for some bad news -Reg do you have any inside on the next "important document" due from Der Füher's Oberst Ratzinger? I was reliably informed that SCDF and the Congregation for Religious and the thingy for priestly formation are working together on a declaration due in October - and surprise, surprise, it bans homosexuals from entry into religious life or the taking of Orders - what other horrors they contemplate against about 75% of the clergy I shudder to contemplate. I just hope that things become much more toned down than they appear to be at the moment. I am reliably informed that [a prominent Vatican cardinal's] secretary is as flaming as they come (silence on the good [cardinal] though), if this idiocy gets through then the queens on the Vatican hill are piercing their own insteps with their stillettoes. Unfortunately I don't have much more information than this.

On this rather miserable note... greetings and courage.

[DELETED]

--------------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

In a message dated 6/7/99 10:11:29 AM Eastern Daylight Time, [DELETED] writes:

----- Original Message ----- From: [DELETED]

it bans homosexuals from entry into religious life or the taking of Orders

Well, if it is going to happen, I say GOOD! Then these despots will have unwittingly signed the execution warrant for the present anachronistic, medieval expression of "presbyter" and force it to reform in ways that are consistent with the Gospel.

The straights are CERTAINLY not going to come forward under present conditions .... and with "gay rights" being so "out there", I would imagine that it is more and more difficult for youth to remain in denial about whether they are gay or not.

(Oh wait! But the straights ARE coming forward! In their 60's and 70's. After they have lead a decently human life ..... and have reached the age where wisdom is possible - that is, the "hormones" have died down! Nice, safe, sexually-tame, old men. Eunuchs, by virtue of age!)

Once, when asked to list my occupation on a form, I wrote "Medieval Lord" - and *I* don't even wear French Cuffs!!! (Ever notice that the guys who are DYING to wear the purple usually wear French Cuffs?)

Unfortunately, in the coming sexuality pogrom, I fear many of us will be casualties in one way or another - if we insist on saying "We are here!" I've noticed that the idea of "activism" among the older gay clergy is a rather foreign idea. They feel no urge to slit their own throats in the name of Truth, Justice, bla, bla, bla. They simply go to plush old-gay-men piano bars in Boston and sit around the piano singing show-tunes and wishing their dicks still worked the way they did when they were young.

Was talking to an Episcopalian Minister who was marveling at how we "underling" Catholics roll over and play dead in the face of hierarchy authority abuse. I guess with their "protesting" history, it is easier for them to stand up and say FUCK OFF, ASSHOLES.

I was thinking - and this might be just an American, thinking in the "ghetto" way we Americans think - that the U.S. has a terrific leverage tool with the Vatican called Peter's Pence. Withhold those millions for a few years and see how much power a country's clergy can have over the Vatican! Of course, our OWN hierarchy would have to adapt to the outrageous idea of LEADING in ways of LIFE instead of being led around by the NOSE by the "Restorationists" who want to close those windows John XXIII opened.

"Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for THOSE sinners...." ;-)

[DELETED]

[DELETED] and All,

You echoed my feelings here very well. If our prelates ever stood together and stood up to the Vatican, the Roman Curia would change very quickly. Unfortunately many of the American prelates lack the sufficient backbone to carry this through. Or (worse considering they're Americans) they don't realize the power of the purse strings.

[DELETED]

----------------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

In a message dated 6/7/99 8:35:29 AM Eastern Daylight Time, [DELETED] writes:

I am reliably informed that  [a prominent Vatican cardinal's] secretary is as flaming as they come

[DELETED],

I can vouch for this. I saw him (along with the [cardinal]) in Dallas a few years ago and that was my impression as well.

[DELETED]

--------------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

In a message dated 6/6/99 4:24:37 PM Eastern Daylight Time, [DELETED] writes:

How have I been behaving since the treatment? Surprisingly well. I keep to myself, get very horny and sometimes "fall". more to come later. but thanks everyone for giving me the opportunity to share part of my story. It's been a hell of a journey as far as sexuality is concerned. I love sex but most of all, I would love to love and be loved above all else.

[DELETED],

Welcome to the club. Your description fits most of us, I would suspect. Sex is wonderful, but to find someone to love and be loved by would be a true gift of heaven. One day..........

[DELETED]

---------------------------------------------

I got my balls sucked out the end of my cock a few days ago....

hmmm... am I lying or not?

;-)

----- Original Message ----- From: [DELETED] > Hey [DELETED]: Let's hear from you first. have you been laid lately? [DELETED]

-------------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

Hey [DELETED]: Let's hear from you first. have you been laid lately? [DELETED]

----------------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

Dear [DELETED],

Unless [DELETED] is planning on saving the best for last? Hope that doesn't put too much pressure on you! (Or that we don't wear him out before he gets to you).LOL

[DELETED]

-------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

hey guys..i'm hoping to go to disney world this summer too - between stops on mission appeals. can you give me any ideas on what best to visit - and what to avoid? muchas gracias...[DELETED]

--------------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

Dear [DELETED],

I believe your story entirely. I just didn't know you were double jointed.

:-)

[DELETED]

--------------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

In a message dated 6/4/99 7:59:20 PM Eastern Daylight Time, [DELETED] writes:

I got my balls sucked out the end of my cock a few days ago....

[DELETED]

Whether it's true or not this certainly brings some very lively images to my mind.............

:-)

---------------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

[DELETED]!

Thanks. I don't have a geographical spot picked out, but I would like to be near an urban setting where there is a chance for some gay socializing and support. I would also like to be openly gay so that I do not have to hide anymore. If that means that I cannot have a "normal" parish assignment, then that's OK. Hospital work, taking C.P.E., and also becoming a C.P.E. instructor would be to my liking as well.

[DELETED]>From: [DELETED] hey guy, If you are seeking exclaustration to become a diocesan priest where would you like to go. there are dioceses in the west that are totally desperate and would take but it would depend on recommendation of abbot, etc. I can try to look around this region if ya want to come down south..[DELETED]

------------------------------------

 

"Reg C" <reg@kingsley.co.za>-----Hi guys - so nice to see so much in our file to laugh about - and to think about too, which is also good.

[DELETED] you sod! Liar too (I Liked [DELETED]'s comment though) ball sucking my arse!!! Yeah well now that is a thought. Do I get to jump the queue 'cos I cum from so far away? Wot a pity I am not going anywhere near [DELETED]. A night with [DELETED] - aaaaaaaaooooooo etc. I did like your fat arse pics - they have been filed away for future use (which means when I die, someone will have to clean up this computer of mine!) Pity there is no self destruct thing one can install - any suggestions? Now [DELETED] - who do you expect to answer honestly bout getting laid - to me baby!!!

So I am wondering if there were any prince charmings down in Disney. I suppose you guys all talking about the Disney in Orlando - not the other in LA? I went there ten years ago with my brother and his wife and kids - amazing place. Epcot was the place for me - and certainly not those crazy upside down rides. [DELETED]'s comparison to a Disney visit vs a Vatican visit reminded me that a while ago I was walking around St Peter's all in drag and so many people wanted to take my pic and have one of themselves with me - I thought it would be a good idea to have someone walking around all dressed up (like Mr Mouse does at Disney) for the pics. Ratz could make some money out of it no doubt.

Talking about the Vatican - JP is in Poland at the mo - mebbe he will die there? I shall listen to the news broadcasts in hope!

[DELETED], thanks for the spoon story - yeah that was the one I heard - but it was done by a bishop and his priest - or mebbe it was to do with a breviary or summing - oh well... old age and all that.

[DELETED] you seem to spend a lot of time doing funerals out there - now at least I understand the spring burial thing - do they all get done at once then or wot?

[DELETED] - hope all goes / went well with the move - sometimes it can he ultra traumatic. Hope yrs was not one of those.

OK nice guys - hang in there = lotsaluv =Reg

----------------------------------------------------

HI [DELETED]

Ta for the mail and for your homesite - yeah I did visit it, but some of the pics did not download - I will visit it again though.

Sorry to hear you seem to have such a shit deal in life man - BUT the good Lord has His own ways of sorting things out as I have no doubt you remember to live a peaceful life now. but... yeah ell they will have to answer for it one day.

Luv you lots hey = Reg

-------------------------------------------

I second that [DELETED], How Blessed indeed! At last a really human being as Bishop. It seems like a contradiction in terms. Oh that we could be so blessed here in [DELETED]! Now I must really be in trouble with the higher ups, but who cares! I'm Free... -------------------------------------------

Reg: You must look good in drag. I look foward to the day when I would have such a bishop as yourself. They are blessed to have you in your diocese. [DELETED] ---------------------------------------

Reg.. This was a wonderful pastoral letter. If only all the bishops felt so free to be supportive (and even encouraging) of people where they are. You are a gift to this group.

You can be MY Bishop anytime!

[DELETED]

---------------------------------------

Hello Reg and All,

I was expecting a reprimand from you, for my comment about the vatican. Instead i got this and love it!

[DELETED]'s comparison to a Disney visit vs a Vatican visit reminded me that a while ago I was walking around St Peter's all in drag and so many people wanted to take my pic and have one of themselves with me - I thought it would be a good idea to have someone walking around all dressed up (like Mr Mouse does at Disney) for the pics. Ratz could make some money out of it no doubt. 

------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

Hey guys, I hope all of you are well? Yes thank Reg for you weekly TOMES which are somewhat hopeful to me that there is a light in the church for those of us struggling to be good and faithful shepherds. I remember when I first said to my therapist that I was gay. I had gone through two intense years of struggle. I begged my bishop not to put me in a parish alone, yet i was given an assignment in the middle of no where with two churches and little support from brother priest/diocese. I need spiritual guidance but many of the brothers i knew where somewhat homophobic and i was in denial. During my time of struggle I was given a seminarian who was bi polar, paroid, manic, etc and who loveddddddddddddddddd jesus. I had gotten an advertizement in the mail and put it in the side of my nightstand. while i was gone my mom who cleaned my house once a week ordered [DELETED] to paint my room. He did and it fell out of the nightstand. Next thing i knew when i got back was that I was called in and my bishop wanted me evaluated to see if i needed to go to treatment. SAD dioceses are more concerned about being sued.I went to a counselor who after I told him my life journey I asked if I needed to go to treatment. He said i was a normal male. that I had issues but dont we all. I started counseling with him, and then went to [DELETED] where I had a great time. I since have struggled three relationships which didnt work out but were great learning experiences. I returned home. Still the support is lacking and the back stabing is there but my attitude about myself is better. I still make stupid mistakes when it comes to handling my sexuality, but i am ok with it. i am grateful to god that i had the aol gay christian room with ministers who helped me through all this. I had very good resources to help me deal with myself. I am on the way to recovery. I know 100 % that i want to be a priest. It is sad that we have to live this way but maybe someday something will change. I love the church but i have come to hate the buracracy. Maybe we are in need of another reformation!....LOL...well that is a part of my journey. In time i will write more..[DELETED] P>S if you guys know gay friendly priest who would make good spritiual directors in the [DELETED] area please let me know

--------------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

Bishops....it seems that rome is consecrating men who are either looking for higher postions, wealthy dioceses, soley adminstrators, or control freaks. I WILL GIVE YOU SHEPHERD'S seems to be a contradiction of terms with my experience of bishops lately. It is good to find a bishop who is a human being! I wish we would know of more, and i as sure there are. There were some guys whose lives remind me of the THORNBIRDS who when they get to the top they forget what they once were and become the perscutors and powermongers they dispised ie ratizinger is a good example..[DELETED]

-------------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

welcome back [DELETED] ...the place wasnt the same without your color :) [DELETED]

--------------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

Hi everyone: I look forward to reading the emails from this group and as usual, I am inspired. Reg, thanks for the insight, honesty and the hope you instill in each of us. Frankly, I think that you are a rare kind, not that many of the members in drag are few either. I doubt very much if there will ever be the kind of support gay priests need in the church. We have done a good job in creating hangups with sex, rules etc. How about preaching christianity? Who cares what I do with my membrane? Obviously, the Holy Church cares or is it mostly those in positions of authority care? As I look back on my life (do that more now that I have reached 50+), I had to come in touch with my pain. about 9 years ago I was turned in to the bishop because I was acting out with a deacon entrusted to my supervision. poor choice on my part. I was treated as someone who needed help, though compassion at the time was visible from the auxiliary bishop. He didn't give up on my, rather he guided me after he treated me harshly. Before leaving for my program, he apologized for the way he treated me. He gained a little more respect from me. I went to a program where I regained my dignity as a human being. found out how many priests, brothers are gay. It is not wrong to be gay as much of our society looks down on gays. In fact I always muse at a man and woman at a restaurant and notice how often they have very little to talk about. On the contrary, two gay men have a good time together sharing a meal. and in other places too. I had to come to terms with the relationships I have had over the years. Most of them were good ones, good for me especially the one with "[DELETED]". Still find him very appealing to me, though he is now committed to a loving man ( hope he is good for him). I resent the fact that instead of helping me to be monogomous, I was given a choice to either be a celibate or forget it. i guess this is a crude way of putting it. How have I been behaving since the treatment? Surprisingly well. I keep to myself, get very horny and sometimes "fall". more to come later. but thanks everyone for giving me the opportunity to share part of my story. It's been a hell of a journey as far as sexuality is concerned. I love sex but most of all, I would love to love and be loved above all else. [DELETED] 

----------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

Has anyone else noticed that the interlude between verses of "Bread of Life" is also the first phrase of "O, Dem Golden Slippers"? Or am I just not sufficiently focussed on the Sacred Mysteries? At the Abbey we had what I called the "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend" entrance antiphon (no kidding it was identical as far as "A kiss on the hand may be quite..." The Abbey was also home of the "Sweetheart Tree" offertory. One of [DELETED]'s psalms is a dead ringer for Brahm's Lullaby. Anyone else notice other similarities?

-----------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

Might they not have been kidney stones?

 -----------------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was FUNNY!

(I've had kidney stones tho, and orgasms have them beat by a MILE!)

----- Original Message -----

Might they not have been kidney stones? -----Original Message----- I got my balls sucked out the end of my cock a few days ago.... [DELETED]

From: [DELETED]

[DELETED] you tell the sotry that is most of ur lives - and thanks for that - as i rech 57 and continue to enjoy my work immensely I struggle with a leadership ( religious order) which is homophobic and in denial - I was in leadershipt a few years ago and knwo exactly what most of them now there were doing - but that is another story...i too long ( still ) for that special person and still believe he is there - so i don't give up trying - but the [DELETED] is so catholic they just go into sever guilt when they even think of doing it with a priest - so I watch myself here and look forwartd to two or three relationships I have in the states - some sexual some not - where I can be myself and share my life fully...paz y amor. [DELETED]l

 

From: [DELETED]

In a message dated 6/6/99 7:28:15 AM Eastern Daylight Time, Reg writes:

So I am wondering if there were any prince charmings down in Disney. 

Oh Reg (and All),

I did see so many Princes Charming at Typhoon Lagoon on Friday night!!!!! Almost five thousand men in all kinds of swim wear. No matter where I looked there were "heavenly visions". Everyone was having a great time. The "dance floor" (actually we were dancing on the sand under a temporary structure with disco lights) was a very lively place indeed!!!!!!!! All the water rides were put to good use. Some of the entertainment was wonderful (the go-go dancers were my faves, though, such great movements by such lovely bodies...........). All in all it was a wonderful experience. I must say that if Gay Day itself was this much fun, I will have to try the Saturday at the Disney parks next year. I think I am finally recovering from all the partying of Friday night. Today I celebrate 13 years as a priest, so I guess that I could count Typhoon Lagoon as a pre-anniversary party.

cheers,[DELETED] -----------------------------------------

 

Indeed, FUCK !!! Bloody Ratz - [DELETED] gives us this bad news. I am a bit reluctant to believe it - have not heard anything of it from other sources - and it surprising that the news guys have not got onto it yet. I was amused to hear JPII's supposed comment that Ratz does thing without asking him. I was reminded of JP's comment when we had lunch with him during our ad limina- We asked him if he was going to watch the soccer game between Germany and Poland on TV that night (he is not supposed to be gay, so he should have been watching) and his reply was that he could not "because Ratzinger is coming to check up on me tonight" .

When I was having my fight with Ratz re my stand re our bishops not opposing gay relationships when it cums up in parliament - one of the documents he sent me to "read for my requested conversion" was a thing that said gay people should not be appointed as school teachers, PT instructors and army personnel. I wondered why seminarians were excluded from this prohibition list. Now it seems they are catching up. As to my query whether this was not discrimination, I was told that all other instances would be discrimination except these.. why? because we say so!!! FUCK !!!!

I am wondering what is to happen with those wo have sneaked through and got themselves ordained??? Greeley I think says 60% of priests are gay. I would be tempted to out myself and ask wot I and other gay bishops (cardinals), priests and religious (male and female) are supposed to do. I say tempted since I shall certainly think about it before October cums our way. However it will be a nice bomb to drop at the Chicago conference next month... Gary watch out for it! As I feel now - I could not continue - but we shall see. FUCK!

So guys - see - don;t think I am such a smart guy at all! I am not I am just very human like u guys are - and look forward to my night with [DELETED]! Yeah I think it was kidneys stones he pulled out of his cock. I have not found any there yet - must keep on trying - never know wot will cum out next!

That by Pat [DELETED] - now how did he sneak in without my seeing him - welcome [DELETED], nice to have you on board also.

Congrats [DELETED] on yr 13th - hope you had a ball at Disney - or summing like that anyhow!

[DELETED] if you want to see me in drag - go to our site - it's all there! Oh and by the way - e once sang Tantum ergo to the tune of Clementine when I was a student and got shat on for doing it also! amazing - who cares now anyhow

bad night - again FUCK - but lotsaluv to you nice guys = Reg 

-----------------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

Interesting idea to ban all gay clergy. Who in the hell is going to serve the people? In our place alone, they can't manage now, and it would be interesting to see what the people would do. People ask me, "Father, what can be done?" I always answer, "You just have to get mad enough and say you're not going to take it anymore. Tell the damn bishops you don't care of the gender or marital status of the priest who serves you!" Interesting how many of them seem to think this is a good idea. Now we can add sexual orientation too, I suppose.

So now what will the Holy Office of the Inquisition come up with next?

[DELETED] 

-----------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

yes the outcome was 60% here too. And the heteros have their concubines...but that is ok with the authorities because they are "the normal ones".... [DELETED]

--------------------------------------

From:  [DELETED]

Mind in the gutter again,  [DELETED]? I'm driving up the road to visit you!  [DELETED]

From:  [DELETED]

----- Original Message ----- From:  [DELETED] <<<<giving the above mentioned priest friend a hand with a couple of his projects.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm....... 

---------------------------------------------

From:  [DELETED]

In a message dated 6/7/99 8:18:21 PM Eastern Daylight Time,  [DELETED] writes:

From:  [DELETED]

----- Original Message ----- From:  [DELETED] giving the above mentioned priest friend a hand with a couple of his projects. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......

 

Now  [DELETED], just WHAT are you implying here?????

:-)

 [DELETED]--------------------------- 

From: [DELETED]

Greetings to one and all,

I read with great interest  [DELETED]'s note about rumors of another letter coming from the Vatican.

Actually, this is not the first time I have heard of such. When the Los Angeles bishops, et al. went to Rome for their official visit late last fall, they came back talking about that very letter. Apparently Ratz's office was very proud of it, and was telling all those who were visiting that the next official letter would in fact ban gays from religious orders and priesthood. When the LA crew mentioned the letter to the more sympathetic Pio Laghi, he told them not to worry, that the rest of the Congregations would never allow such a letter to get through. So, in spite of Pio Laghi's best intentions, it appears as though the letter might have made it through.

I do find such a letter disturbing, as it will give strength to those ordinaries throughout this country who are already conducting witch hunts. Sadly, men, this gives rise to my worst fears that when all is said and done, each and every one of us is expendable in the eyes of the institutional, hierarchical Church unless we are willing to remain in the closet and play the game by THEIR rules. I know that for a long time, certain "titles" (monsignor, bishop, etc.), have been reserved as much as possible to reward the "good little boys" who have kept their noses clean and have done what "Daddy" told them to do.

A friend of mine who works at a Chancery in a large Archdiocese in the Midwest has suggested that each and every one of us take out our resumes, dust them off, update them, and work with someone who might be able to help some of us transition into the secular world, if the need arises.

In the meantime...let us, as best as possible, live, love, laugh, and be happy. No, I am NOT in denial. I just think that if they come after us, we should try to be in good places so that we can make our own decisions, our own choices, and in our own best interests. If we are expendable to them, we must not be expendable to ourselves. Let us be on guard...and prepare!

 [DELETED]

--------------------------------------------

From:  [DELETED]

GUYS everyone has a skeleton in there closet and the rat has to have his. I have heard something that the rat has a child but again this is only rumor. Could it be possible? Well it is time the enemies of the rat find his Achilles heel... [DELETED] 

--------------------------------------------

From:  [DELETED]

And you can be certain it was no immaculate conception. I suspect a turkey baster was involved and the mother was probably blind!

 [DELETED]

---------------------------------------------

From:  [DELETED]

 [DELETED]..you can be assured that tomorrow this will be talken up at mass in the intentions for the sick..and will be in my personal prayers... [DELETED]

---------------------------

From:  [DELETED]

One of my parishioners sent this to me.

------------------------------------------

From:  [DELETED]

In a message dated 6/8/99 2:00:02 AM Eastern Daylight Time,  [DELETED] writes:

A friend of mine who works at a Chancery in a large Archdiocese in the Midwest has suggested that each and every one of us take out our resumes, dust them off, update them, and work with someone who might be able to help some of us transition into the secular world, if the need arises.

In the meantime...let us, as best as possible, live, love, laugh, and be happy. No, I am NOT in denial. I just think that if they come after us, we should try to be in good places so that we can make our own decisions, our own choices, and in our own best interests. If we are expendable to them, we must not be expendable to ourselves. Let us be on guard...and prepare!

 [DELETED],

Not a bad idea! It is good to be prepared. There's an old saying in Spanish: "Guerra avisada no mata soldado." (An announced war kills no soldiers) I think this just may be our announcement to be ready.

 [DELETED]

-------------------------------------

"Reg C" <reg@kingsley.co.za>

 [DELETED]- nice to hear you got a chapel in your home- I did think only bishops have that!! do you have some kinda special privilege from uncle Ratz?

 [DELETED]- why you keep saying nice things bout me? wait till you meet me pal - then you will see just what a horror I really am - ask  [DELETED]- he met me in Chicago - hey and it seems someone else in here also met me there - but i have forgotten just who (blush).

 [DELETED], is that guy wanking in our site the only pic you got - whew - I am sure someone in here can direct you to a few smart sites - grin - not me of course - more grins

OK guys - that's it - lotsa hugs and luv all round =  Reg

---------------------------------------

From:  [DELETED]

Guys....I have heard all the rhetoric these past few days about what may or may not happen with ratizner. I must say all of this has brought me to tears and caused great pain in my heart. When I entered the seminary I did so after I had a great personal conversion where I experience the love of Jesus in a great and profound way. I was involved in the charismatic renewal. Coming from the country and very green about sexuality I was filled with great love and idealism. I wanted to bring the love of Jesus to others. My faith was very simple, and I had a strong devotional aspect. My seminary experience helped me to grow up and my faith deepen but it created in me a sense of fear: fear of not being ordained, fear of authority figures, fear of self. I have lived as a child for 16 years of priesthood: being called in for every little thing, moved about like a chest piece, not allowed to develop my potential. Often place in situations with little and no support only being recognized if I did something wrong. I didn't kiss ass or use people to get what I wanted. All I wanted was for people to love god, love Mary, love the church and the more I did the more pain I endured. I found myself becoming cold and hard. So scared of getting in trouble and dealing with betrayal. Still I loved, and my vocation grew. One day two years ago it came to a stand still. I was burnt out from trying to help and getting in between brother priest who were at odds with each other. It nearly killed me. I came back from a pilgrimage to be meet by an accusative seminarian who claimed I had a "pornography problem." This seminarian was 33 and had psychological problems that would be considered textbook. He went through a lot of shit himself in his life: being raped, put in a mental institution where he was raped, bipolar, etc. Even though this was painful for me it was the best thing for me. I was asked to go to counseling to be evaluated for possible treatment center. On the side, this really suck as I know guys who treat the people like shit and haven't had lick one of counseling where my problem I kept to myself. I went to counseling and I told him that I finally accepted I was gay. I told a counselor in the seminary and he convinced me that I wasn't. I went to Boston, well after sexual encounters, few failed relationships, struggling with conscience and the bureaucracy that I grew to despise at the hypocrisy I saw I can now say that I really love myself for the first time in my life. I am very happy in my priesthood, and my dealings with people and my understanding of them is much better. I found out that I love sex and there are time I don't like myself in that they were just flesh on flesh. That is not what I want. I solely want to love a man who will be my companion in the journey like Jesus sent them out two by two. Putting us all by ourselves and treating us like slaves, and children goes contrary to the gospel and is in my opinion very unhealthy. IN ALL THIS CRAP i still love the church, I love the pope, I love the virgin Mary and the saints, I still love the priesthood, and I want to remain more now than ever. NOW this asshole "romani" named ratiziger and his cronies want to cause a witch hunt. I have asked god to forgive me because i have never desired that god sends someone to his eternal rest as much as I want this man to. I truly believe this man has something to hide. I don't ever want to not be a priest. I don't ever want to leave the roman fold. It is what I love and what I know god wants me to be. I now understand the hurt of the Lord. This must be the true church because only the holy spirit could have kept its own self destruction. What is ironic is that I am very happy in the midst of all this? I am just again scared as to what is to become of all of us. I have been taught to eat drink and sleep priesthood. I know of nothing else. Some of you said to brush off your resumes. Shit I have none. I went straight from secular college to seminary so I have no work history whatsoever. All I no is I want nothing more than to be a priest. I pray that the bishops of the church allow themselves to be guided by the spirit and say to Rome enough is enough. Reg  I must say that you give me courage to stand firm knowing that there are bishops who are there who really love there priest, and love us.. [DELETED]

 --------------------------------------

From:  [DELETED]

 [DELETED], I agree with you 100% and your story resembles mine and others I have heard so much. We gave all for the Church and love the Church. The beaurocracy is another story. The Church as the people of God all journeying together towards God; sometimes stumbling and falling but getting up again and trying with the help of God.

I too have no resume, or trade; I have talents that I use to help people i.e computing and fixing small appliances. But even though I am semi retired and not attached to a parish I find myself ministering all over the place and in many parishes, giving priests a break so richly deserved.

Must go now but I understand your pain and your joy!  [DELETED] 

---------------------------------------------

From: [DELETED]

A friend sent this, I thought it would be interesting:

here's what you're supposed to do. Copy this entire e-mail and change all the answers so they apply to you. Then send it to everyone you know, INCLUDING me. So you should get back a lot of e-mails. You'll learn a lot about your friends that you maybe didn't know. It give one an interesting insight into one's self also.

NAME:  [DELETED] 
NICKNAME:  [DELETED] 
BIRTHPLACE:  [DELETED]
HOMETOWN:  [DELETED]., USA 
PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND:  [DELETED]
CROUTONS OR BACON BITS: Bacon bits & croutons 
FAVOURITE SALAD DRESSING: Italian or vinaigrette 
DO YOU DRINK: on occasion, in good company 
SHAMPOO OR CONDITIONER: shampoo most days, conditioner when hair is taking abuse, especially in Summer with the beach and the pool 
HAVE YOU EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: yes, at Haulover Beach, FL. and at my pool ;-)
DO YOU MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE: No, not usually. 
FAVOURITE COLOURS: Red, Teal, ocean blue 
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME: No 
ONE PILLOW OR TWO: Three. 
PETS: none presently 
FAVOURITE TYPES OF MUSIC: Classical, Monastic Chant, Latin Salsa (especially Cuban: Celia Cruz, Benny Moré, Gloria Estefan, Albita, etc), Jazz 
DREAM CAR: Not sure 
TYPE OF CAR YOU DRIVE NOW: Saturn SL2 
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR: 1964 grey Pontiac Station Wagon 
TOOTHPASTE: Flouride, whitening, anti-tartar mint gel 
FAVOURITE FOOD: roast pork, white rice with black beans, yuca, and fried ripened plantains, followed by a flan for dessert 
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: yes 
FAVOURITE TOWN TO CHILL IN: Key West 
FAVOURITE ICE CREAM: dark chocolate, chocolate Vienneta, Hagen Dasz Dulce Leche FAVOURITE SOFT DRINK: Caffeine Free Diet Coke 
FAVOURITE TYPE OF FAMILY GAME TO PLAY: Trivial Pursuit 
WHAT IS YOUR BAD TIME OF DAY: MORNINGS 
FAVOURITE TIME OF YEAR: Spring. 
ADIDAS, NIKE, OR REEBOK: whichever is on sale 
FAVOURITE PERFUME OR COLOGNE: Agua de Sevilla, Cool Water, Nautica, Obsession FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: History. 
LEAST FAVOURITE SUBJECT: Math 
FAVOURITE MOVIE YOU HAVE SEEN RECENTLY: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Midsummer Night's Dream 
FAVOURITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME: Gone With The Wind & Disney's Fantasia 
FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Gin & Tonic
FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH None. 
SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU:  [DELETED] is very understanding and very caring, always willing to listen 
FAVOURITE THING TO DO ON SUNDAY: Laying out on some beach under the shade of a palm tree with a very cold drink and a good book 

-----------------------------

From:  [DELETED]

Hello, gentlemen!

My heart goes out to all those whose lives and priesthoods have been painful. I have friends whose stories echo those of the men who have shared in here.

I feel I would like to present another side, however. I feel blessed to admit that both my life and my priesthood have been glorious. I have had no real painful challenges, I have been surrounded by good friends, an occasional lover, have done everything I wanted to do, and have been neither stopped nor stifled in anything whatsoever. After 21 years of priesthood, I am more in love with it than ever. Do I have a problem with the Church? Hmm..at times, certainly, but I feel that I have created a healthy enough distance between myself and its pettiness and smallmindedness so that I am personally immune from its attacks. I just go my own way, fighting injustice, of course, but choosing to do so from within. I shall not surrender the Church to the infidels.

I am fortunate too in that I have very specific training and professional degrees--all of them paid for by the "Church"-- that have freed me from depending upon Church sources for a living. I am marketable apart from the Church and its whims. I make a tremendous amount of money in my ministry, and have a tremendous amount of freedom. I do what I want, go where I want, cavort (safely) with whom I want, and should the occasion ever present itself, am capable of telling whomever to go fuck themselves, that I don't need them. Because in many respects, I don't.

Do I play the game? Of course, but only because I believe in the Gospel, and I feel that some of us MUST work from within. This does not mean, however, that I would ever compromise who I am or what I am in order to preserve my current status. I am currently working on a relationship that looks oh-so-promising, and has energized me greatly. Our lovemaking--our entire relationship-- makes me a better person, and a better priest.

So, my friends, I certainly hope that I don't come across as bragging. But I do think it important for all of us to hear/know that our company is made up of ALL kinds. And of course, in my prayers, I thank God for all that I have, and all that I am, and ask His inspiration and grace to continue to use the gifts He has given me wisely, in His name, and for the Kingdom.

 [DELETED]

-------------------------------------------

From:  [DELETED] &  [DELETED] < [DELETED]>

Howdy Guys.....here goes with a profile.............................

 

NAME:  [DELETED]
BIRTHPLACE:  [DELETED] 
HOMETOWN:  [DELETED]

CROUTONS OR BACON BITS: Bacon bits & croutons 
FAVOURITE SALAD DRESSING: vinaigrette....like them all !!! 
DO YOU DRINK: not any more
HAVE YOU EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: Yes, anywhere I can get away with it !!!! ;-) 
DO YOU MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE: No. 
FAVOURITE COLOURS: Red, Black , Green & Blue 
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME: No 
ONE PILLOW OR TWO: one 
PETS: none presently 
FAVOURITE TYPES OF MUSIC: Celtic, C & W, soft rock, new age & oldies. 
DREAM CAR: anything that runs without too much trouble !!! 
TYPE OF CAR YOU DRIVE NOW: Ford Tempo 
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR: '71 Mustang 
TOOTHPASTE: Flouride, whitening, anti-tartar mint gel 
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: yes 
FAVOURITE TOWN TO CHILL IN: P-town and Quebec City 
FAVOURITE ICE CREAM: Strawberry, Rasberry, bnanna, choclate chip etc. 
FAVOURITE SOFT DRINK: Pepsi & Dr. Pepper 
FAVOURITE TYPE OF FAMILY GAME TO PLAY: Trivial Pursuit 
WHAT IS YOUR BAD TIME OF DAY: around 4 or 5 pm ....quitting time.....never comes fast enough !!!! 
FAVOURITE TIME OF YEAR: Spring & Fall 
ADIDAS, NIKE, OR REEBOK: whichever is on sale 
FAVOURITE PERFUME OR COLOGNE: Obsession, Old Spice, anything !!! 
FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: History & Geography 
LEAST FAVOURITE SUBJECT: Latin 
FAVOURITE MOVIE YOU HAVE SEEN RECENTLY: The Mummy 
FAVOURITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME: Gone With The Wind & Wizzard of Oz 
FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: don't drink
FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH : watching hot, hairy, hunky men anywhere
FAVOURITE THING TO DO ON SUNDAY: Laying out on some beach under the shade and watching the studs around me.

........WELL, anyone......what do you T H I N K ????? Would like to get to know others on this list for friendship .... or .............................................. zee  [DELETED] Bear, ---- [DELETED]

------------------------------------------

Well, being a bear doesn't lend itself to wearing speedos because most of us are FULL FIGURED GURLS LOL..I swim but our beaches in Louisiana are nothing to brag about, I would be very interested in the response you get from fiorenza who is basically known as a WEENIE in his diocese. When he first went to Galveston-Houston he told his priest to stop all gay ministry including dignity. The priest of his diocese stood up to him and told him they were going to continue but he wouldn't know who. The Franciscans in Houston have a fantastic ministry through Kolbe House. He has one of the largest gay/lesbian populations in his diocese in the country. I don't think he would ever make a public statement either way as to not cause in his own diocese what happened in NYC after OConner issued his statement or to piss off ratzinger. It seems the nuns in the US have the larger testicles in this country and that they have given them over to the nuns. Thank God for guys like Gumbleton. How he has not been silenced by that Nazi in Rome I have no idea. Yes, guys if you didn't know it ratzinger was in Hitler's youth corps, and the German Army. Of course the Vatican issued a statement defending the present prelate. My mothers side were conversios. Jews forced to convert, leave, or die. My Jewish blood ran cold and runs very cold with anyone and anything that had something to do with Hitler. He made several very anti Semitic statements lately that the Vatican was embarrassed by. Sorry, I got off on a tangent. Any way, the bishops in this country are shaking so much now I don't know if you will find any who will seem defiant because to question or defy is viewed as apostasy. We should get people to pray that [DELETED]'s request be answered positively. Get everyone to pray for father's special intention.

RCF COMMENT:  Any Church official may contact RCF if interested in related information. RCF's investigation continues.